the Holidays!! ...according to the Wakefield Doctrine, of course ;}

The Big Three!

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Nothing says cultural imperialism better than the pervasiveness of these three mega-holidays. We call them mega-holidays due to the extent of their influence, as much as the black hole-like demand on the attention and activities of all who come near. Lurking in the post-summer calendar, normal life is stretched and distorted and pulled into shapes that make daily routines nearly impossible. And like the 'real life' black holes, time itself is not immune to the insidious effect of these Holidays. For the young, the weeks approaching these calendar singularities is stretched like Einsteins' twins, the closer you get to the big day, the slower time passes.
But once within the 'event horizon' of the week immediately preceding the actual holiday, both subjective and objective time accelerates drawing you inexorable into the next monstrous celebration, consumed only to be spit out the other side. ho..ho...ho!

But this little hub is about the Wakefield Doctrine first and the why-didn't-I-think-of-it super competitive world of hub scores second. (...so I had a decent 90 going, as I sit down to try to find another hubster with as un-realistic set of expectations of fame and fortune as I have and what do I see? My 90 is now 89!!?! They can't do that? Can they? Hey, yo Bellawriter!! I wasn't being critical about your choice to banish the letter "a" from the alphabeta, really! I didn't mean nothin!)

So, what can a hubster do but sit down and hurl electronic words against the digital wall and hope that the blessed god of statistical chance looks down in favor. If there really are 100 million people reading all these blog-like things, is it asking for too much  .0001 percent of you people to take a minute to read my thoughts?
But today is not about me. This hub is about the Wakefield Doctrine (the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers). And while the powers behind the scene here in hubville say, 'Thou shalt not unduly promote outside sites' (there are advertisers who read the stats, yo). They have allowed me to hold forth on the Wakefield Doctrine in these hubs. So before we talk about the Holidays according to the Doctrine, a little primer on the the theory of clarks, scotts and rogers.

The Wakefield Doctrine proposes that all people (and some animals) can be categorized as clarks, scotts or rogers . These are three distinctly different ways of viewing the world, and thereby three personality types result. As a personality theory, we say simply, if you understand the world the person is experiencing, you will immediately know how they will act or react to any situation. We maintain that personality arises from directly perception, rather than simply being a collection of traits and imitated behavior. Further, the Doctrine holds that all people are all born with the potential to see/experience the world as a clark or a scott or a roger . That at some point in early childhood we go with one (of the three), we become predominately clarklike , scottian or rogerian .
The coolest thing about the Doctrine is that it's descriptions of the characteristics of the three types appear to be empirically sound. Stopping short of claiming statistically verifiable proof, I confidently say, "show me a person who likes Ken Burn's documentaries and genealogy and I will show you a person with a marked propensity for hats and a soft spot for history and tradition. aka a roger" . True for the other two. But to really understand the beauty and the insight of the Doctrine, you probably need to go to the blog site itself and it for your own damn self. (So go, already! No, I can't put a link here but there is one up on my 'bio'.)

Holidays:

Thanksgiving is the most rogerian of all days. Another way to say this, of the Big Three
Holidays, Thanksgiving is totally for rogers . It is all about family and traditions (both real and imagined) and it has a carefully scripted set of appropriate ways to act. Think Norman Rockwell meets the guys who wrote the Bible. ..."Alright, people, we got a basic plot. Brave explorers in a hostile new world, survive the winter and have a feast for family and survivors...and those natives who actually catered the event...the moral of the story? Hey, we're really impressive people, aren't we?"

Christmas is for scotts . A time of projectile good will, when it is acceptable to accost near total strangers, at work or at school and try to get physical with them. Mistletoe, my god! would someone please produce the cultural provisos which allows a person to assault another, its the spirit of Christmas! And the lights! If there is ever a Grand Unified Theory of Physics, then scotts have made the first contribution. They have shown that in the right form, light is exactly the same as sound, just ask the neighbor with the megawatt blinking reindeer, lights suspended from every tree and Santa in a balloon ( a Balloon!!) powered by 3 electric fans and music. If the aliens ever invade Earth, it won't be during Christmas, the display of power seen from space would totally have them look for a easier planet to conquer.

New Years. for clarks , New Years is the bitter promise of yet another year in which their best hopes to make something of their lives will slowly run down, like a Christmas present left running under the tree, making tired little circles on the rug, slower and slower until there is no more energy left.

But don't despair! Winter ends on the 21st of December, so get through the Big Three and you might just have another shot at Spring.